Chances are if you are wondering how to get a girlfriend and keep her, you have been using the wrong approach with women up until now.  No matter how you try to position yourself, women often decide in the first five to seven seconds of meeting whether you are boyfriend material or not.

What most men do not realize is that each woman has her own unique relationship story that plays out in her mind each time she comes in contact with a guy. The bottom line, if your story matches her story, you have a chance of connecting with her and developing a long-term relationship.

MensHealth.com explains that during those first few minutes with a girl, you must come off as interesting and not desperate. The biggest problem for most men is they do not match the story these women are looking for, and they continue to pursue them over and over by making changes that do little to shift the way a woman perceives them.

Understanding The Way Her Mind Works

The biggest problem you have right now is understanding how the female mind works, and aligning yourself in a way that creates a compelling force and makes you irresistible to the opposite sex.

According to AskMen.com, during those first few seconds, her mind is racing and making decisions that will affect your chance of getting with her in the future. So to put the odds in your favor, you need to make some changes to your personality that help you to project yourself as more desirable.

This does not mean that you have to drastically change your appearance.  This is more about connecting with her on a psychological level that isn’t based on physical appearance.

Think about all those romance novels that fly off the shelves every single day. Women want guys who are confident, mysterious, exciting, and who command attention each time they walk into a room.

So How Can You Make These Changes?

With practice, you can change any behavior.  Attracting women is no different.

Now is the time to start focusing on your positive traits, and walking into the room like you own it. Stop focusing on the “easy prey” because you think you have a better chance connecting with a wounded bird.

One of the most important steps to getting a girlfriend and keeping her is to go after a woman you actually want. Raise your standards.  Don’t settle when it comes to picking the women you want to date.

Don’t ever allow yourself to believe that a woman is out of your league.  You should approach a “hot” woman with the same confidence you would any other woman.  If she’s incredibly beautiful, don’t fall all over her.  After all, she sees this type of behavior all the time from every guy she comes in contact with on a daily basis.

Taking the opposite approach and actually being a tease and a challenge will “cross her wires” so to speak.  You’ll set yourself apart as being unique and will occupy a lot more of her mind share.

How Things Start Changing For You

When you finally start looking for women you consider the ultimate prize, you will have an easier time transforming your personality because you really have nothing to lose at this point.

The more you focus on becoming a guy who has it all together, who knows what he wants, and who doesn’t reveal all his cards, the more you’ll peak her curiosity, and she may not even know why. Subconsciously you’ll connect with her on a level that makes you much more desirable than any of the other guys that hit on her each day.

Not only will more women be interested in you, but you’ll also be in the unique position to finally choose the woman you want to be your girlfriend for the long haul.